Dealing With Your Teen's Dating Life
What
parent doesn't eventually hear their teenager say; "I'm going to be going on a date Friday
evening." At some point, everybody's child grows
old enough to start showing interest in the opposite
sex, and that inevitably leads up to the first date.
Plenty of parents see this as an exciting and happy
moment, making sure to take plenty of pictures and
shower their child in almost embarrassing excitement,
but many others see this as a scary or worrisome
experience. - Of course, the latter is sad, because
the first date does not have to be a bad thing at
all. So how far exactly do you get yourself involved
into your teen's dating life and what action do you
take in regard to their first date? There are plenty
of different opinion on this, but I think we can
all agree that we should never hide our children
away from living, and when the world of dating finally
comes around to your child, we must to a certain
extent, embrace it.
Plenty
of parents have absolutely no idea as to the role
that they should be playing in their teenager's
dating life. Do they embrace and support it with
enthusiasm and excitement, or should they be wary
and overprotective? The answer is, of course, that
you need to be both. As a parent, you're going to
be walking a very thin line between the two. - A
delicate balancing act, so to speak. Teenagers are
obviously not yet adults, and are very much childlike
in the sense that their minds are in no way completely
developed. - They just don't have the thought and
reasoning capacity of any adult. This of course makes
teenagers much more likely to live in the "now" without
thinking ahead, making them far more prone to stupid
mistakes. Of course, despite all of this, you still
must understand that you cannot hide them from the
world and living.
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There is not a child out there that is not going
to make mistakes in their life. One of the key factors
in growing up and raising a good child is that they
learn from the mistakes they make. - Of course, to
learn from mistakes, they must make them in the first
place. It is the parent's place to make sure that
the mistakes that their child makes are still small
enough that they will not affect their future adversely.
If you shield your child away from the world, you
are taking away their chances to make mistakes, to
fail. By doing this, are you making sure that they
will have little to no life experience to bank on
when they finally grow up and out of your house.
- Making it so that the mistakes they make when they
are no longer with you will only be that much more
detrimental, when you aren't around to take responsibility
for them. It is very important that as a parent,
you realize that you must allow your child to really
live life, and even make mistakes, while they are
still your responsibility. This gives you the security
of knowing that you will be there to help them when
they need it most, and also lets them know that they
do not need to be rebellious.
Does this mean that they should be given no rules
and the ability to run free? No! Definitely not!
We have already stated that teens do not have the
mental ability for logical thought and reasoning
that an adult has. - Of course, this means that when
left to their own devices, and allowed to do that
which they please, you can almost guarantee they're
going to screw up. The secret is finding the key
balance between staying out of your child's dating
life enough not to be pushy or overbearing, but being
active enough to ensure that you're a positive role
model to your child. Meet whomever they date, and
make sure to go out of your way to ask about them
and seem genuinely interested in what they're up
to. - Showing a real interest in those that your
teenager cares most about is a great way to show
your teen that you're not there to disapprove of
them and that you honestly, genuinely care about
their life.
The bottom line is that teenage dating years is
a time that can be a great source of joy, but above
all, is a crucial time for development that you must
handle well. Make sure to enforce some rules that
are meant for their protection, while at the same
time taking an active interest in their dating life
and allow them to pursue their own interests. Talk
to them, ask questions. For them, this is a journey
into the unknown, and they need you to be there every
step of the way, but you have to make sure that you
aren't in the way. Achieving this balance is the
best way to ensure that your child will grow up with
the fondest of memories of their teenage years.
by Cole Carson
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